Heads up; it’s ball season! No, I’m not talking footballs flying everywhere, I’m talking ball gowns, fancy hotels, nice meals and getting horrifically drunk on free wine. Welcome to University – this is the real reason why you join a sports club!
As it’s my final year, I’m going to all the balls I can. I’ve already been to my university’s Sports Ball, and next up is the Biological Sciences Ball. They’ll also be a graduation ball, but that’s to think about at a later date. So many balls, so little time…
The uni ball is not equivalent to having a Cinderella moment. They’ll be no puffy dresses, you won’t meet prince charming, and although you might lose a shoe, no one’s giving it back to you! The uni ball is an excuse to get dressed up, eat good food, drink free wine, dance, and then head to a nightclub in the most formal outfits in the world to drink even more, before skipping all your classes the next day because you’re too hungover to function (although I was good at the Sports Ball and didn’t drink much seeing as I had an assessed presentation the next day).
So what can you expect, in full detail? I’ve taken the liberty of putting it all together below!
Leaving uni early (or not going in at all) because you need to get ready
I feel like this is more girl centric, but if you didn’t leave uni before your last lecture, do you even have getting ready time? It’s not like lectures where you can roll out of bed, stick your hair in a messy bun and let your under eye bags speak for themselves. A uni ball at least requires a shower!
Once you’ve washed the grime from your skin and the grease from your hair (and shaved off every inch of body hair), it’s time for makeup and doing something to your hair that probably requires heat and an impossible amount of time. No one has time for ecology. My hair needs that hour to get curled!
The stress of the dress!
You need a dress, on a budget, that no one else will be wearing. At the Sports Ball, I swiped my brow in relief after seeing every dress I nearly bought at least once, only to end up sat one table away from a girl in the same dress (she was lovely, we bonded on our excellent taste in ball dresses!). The first ball I ever went to, I ended up in a cocktail dress because my ordered dress was too long. The cheapest dresses come from the internet. But will they fit? Who knows. I guarantee you won’t have time to return it though!
To be fair, if you do find the one (and chances are you will!), nothing beats the sensation of walking into that room, dressed to kill, and knowing you look amazing!
The free wine really doesn’t last
6 bottles of wine on a table seems like plenty until that one person you hardly know sits down, picks one up, downs it, and immediately pours out half of the next. Your ticket price may have included half a bottle of wine, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s yours! You may have to fight for it!
And if you are lucky enough to be sat with some more refined people that like to savour their wine, keep an eye out for scavengers that will lift your full bottles from your table to drink at theirs. Polite, no. Standard procedure, yes. Guard those bottles with your life!
Balking at the price of a Jagerbomb
You’re in a hotel or venue. This isn’t Wetherspoons. If you’re only goal is getting drunk, you might need a savings bond to afford a double. Actually, I might be that person that downs one bottle of wine to myself. It’s cheaper than going to the bar…
There’s never enough room on the dancefloor
Shout the word “Ball” and you’ll end up with about 400 students packed onto one tiny dancefloor. I go to uni in Scotland, which means one thing – Ceilidh Dancing! Be prepared to be thrown about, barely have the time to learn the moves before it’s partner switch time, and definitely have to push off someone from the year above who’s had too much to drink and “really likes balls”.
If you’re there with a significant other, you’ll lose them. Also, be weary of any ex partner/classmate you’ve had an awkward fling with. Ceilidh dancing takes no prisoners. No one wants to have to do a jaunty dance with that!
The food will be exceptionally fancy
And as always, the vegetarian options look a lot better! When you’re used to living off frozen pizza and dried pasta, the prospect of roast chicken is enough to draw anyone in (or veg tarts, pasta in veg sauce, or another option that goes above and beyond your cooking skills). I’ve even had game meats at a uni ball. If you go for one thing, make it the food!
You’ll have in depth conversations with people you’ve never spoken to
The guy who sits on the opposite side of the lecture theater to you will be your best mate by the end of the night. You might even get a hug out of him! Cute!
You’ll swear blind you aren’t getting drunk…
And we all know where that goes.
Seriously though, if you aren’t being force fed water by your pals at the after party, did you even go to the ball?
You won’t make it to uni the next day
Seriously. Here’s hoping the next day doesn’t hold too many important classes. Because that day is a write-off. Spend it in bed and get some hangover food delivered. You can try again the next day.
So there you have it. Everything you can expect from a university ball. Have the time of your life – you only get 3-4 years of this!
Have you ever been to a uni ball? Let me know in the comments!
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